What's going on in my life?
Sick again. Sinus infection and two raging ear infections. Right ear so bad it is almost closed. Explains the loss of hearing, and here I thought I was just getting old. :) So, yes, more medicine. Still having pelvic pain and added heavy bleeding and blood clots the size of my fist at times. Check up at gyno tomorrow for possible scheduling of full hysterectomy.
I have started tanning and an exercise routine. The exercising actually hurts a bit, but my doctor says it is okay as long as I'm sensible about it until we figure everything out. It feels good at the end of the day. I'm not losing weight and I'm okay with that as long as I'm feeling good afterwards. It's funny how during illness and stress some people can lose weight like socks in a dryer and others, like me, can't lose anything.
My mother will be moving to Florida in about 5 weeks. She is moving to a retirement community and I am so happy for her. I will miss her, but I think she will be so content and happy there. Plenty of people her own age and lots of activities will allow her to feel alive and be active again. I know where vacations will be spent at least from now on.
Both weddings are coming along smoothly. I am extremely proud of both of my children. They are growing into such amazing and responsible adults. They are caring and giving people. I'm glad that they've found such good partners.
Work is great and sucks all at the same time. I feel like I'm in charge of a daycare. Each day I'm frustrated at the lack of common sense, maturity and responsibility that a majority of the people I work with l have. But I'll weather through.
I haven't had time for much else. There are a few people I really miss that I need to make time for very soon.
My possessed car is finally fixed.
My nails are growing.
My hair is still short and I like it.
Oh.. and I'm on vacation this week! I have a bottle of spiced rum to drink. A stack of books to read. A hot tub to soak in. And maybe I will get out of my pajamas, maybe I won't.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
They're Going to the Chapel and They're...
Gonna Get Married!
My amazing son and his sweet fiance are getting married September 8. My beautiful daughter and her quirky fiance are getting married November 3. Yes, both this year. I'm happy and proud. They both have picked great partners and I hope that happiness and love continues and fills their lives with incredible joy.
My own wedding was simple, easy, and planning it took about 10 minutes.
My daughter's wedding is simple, although not quite Kecia simple. She is having two bridesmaids and everything is mellow, relaxed and optimistically easy going. Just like her. We have the hall rented, the photographer and DJ taken care of, her dress is being altered as I type, the menu is planned, decorations are in the works, bridal shower being organized. While there are many other little things and one big one such as the cake, things are coming along nicely and the bank isn't being bankrupted.
My son's wedding is a bit different. She is having nine bridesmaids and things are a bit more high maintenance. However, like my daughter's, all things are in the works as well - hall is rented, dress is taken care of, photographer and DJ contracted, menu planned, bridal shower getting planned. Ironically, just like my daughter's, cake is still needed. I have a few people I'm going to check out. I'm hoping to make their cake a super surprise. There are still many other little things for them as well, but our organizational skills are being put to work nicely.
My daughter's colors are red, black and white. My son's are orange and pink. It is amazing how the colors fit the couples. Those that know my kids and their fiances would agree, I'm sure.
It is exciting and fun helping plan and organize, shopping and coming up with creative ideas. I appreciate all the help others have given, their input and contributions are wonderful. Thank you.
My amazing son and his sweet fiance are getting married September 8. My beautiful daughter and her quirky fiance are getting married November 3. Yes, both this year. I'm happy and proud. They both have picked great partners and I hope that happiness and love continues and fills their lives with incredible joy.
My own wedding was simple, easy, and planning it took about 10 minutes.
My daughter's wedding is simple, although not quite Kecia simple. She is having two bridesmaids and everything is mellow, relaxed and optimistically easy going. Just like her. We have the hall rented, the photographer and DJ taken care of, her dress is being altered as I type, the menu is planned, decorations are in the works, bridal shower being organized. While there are many other little things and one big one such as the cake, things are coming along nicely and the bank isn't being bankrupted.
My son's wedding is a bit different. She is having nine bridesmaids and things are a bit more high maintenance. However, like my daughter's, all things are in the works as well - hall is rented, dress is taken care of, photographer and DJ contracted, menu planned, bridal shower getting planned. Ironically, just like my daughter's, cake is still needed. I have a few people I'm going to check out. I'm hoping to make their cake a super surprise. There are still many other little things for them as well, but our organizational skills are being put to work nicely.
My daughter's colors are red, black and white. My son's are orange and pink. It is amazing how the colors fit the couples. Those that know my kids and their fiances would agree, I'm sure.
It is exciting and fun helping plan and organize, shopping and coming up with creative ideas. I appreciate all the help others have given, their input and contributions are wonderful. Thank you.
Surgery ramble
I am having exploratory and diagnostic surgery Friday morning. Pretty big words to be using on someone that is being put to sleep and under the knife. :) The short version of this is that I will be having endometrial ablation done at the least, hysterectomy at the most. That is as long as they don't find anything else. It could be as easy as an out-patient and off work for a few days to a longer hospital stay and off for six to eight weeks.
I am a little nervous because I don't know exactly what all will be done. I quit reading on the internet and I have asked people to stop giving me their version of their experience. Too much information put me in overload and my poor mind into over thinking. Not good. I'll take the advice from my doctors and ask them the right questions until I'm comfortable. Please no more horror stories.
I haven't been in much pain the past two days, but I have been taking all of my medicine as prescribed. Saturday and Sunday left me unable to walk and with the need to take my medicine. I spent Sunday pretty much in bed or the restroom. Looking on my nightstand I have 11 medicine bottles. Pray tell, why does a woman need that many? And how do doctors think an individual is able to really function properly with all that medicine? I go from a goofy, silly, jittery high to a falling asleep walking zombie. If this extends into a hospital stay, picture stories or weird text messaging could happen again for those of you having experienced it the last time.
So back to nervous... yes, I am. This will be surgery 4 in less than a year. But I'm ready, bring it on! Pretty soon we can play tic-tac-toe on my stomach with all the incisions.
I am a little nervous because I don't know exactly what all will be done. I quit reading on the internet and I have asked people to stop giving me their version of their experience. Too much information put me in overload and my poor mind into over thinking. Not good. I'll take the advice from my doctors and ask them the right questions until I'm comfortable. Please no more horror stories.
I haven't been in much pain the past two days, but I have been taking all of my medicine as prescribed. Saturday and Sunday left me unable to walk and with the need to take my medicine. I spent Sunday pretty much in bed or the restroom. Looking on my nightstand I have 11 medicine bottles. Pray tell, why does a woman need that many? And how do doctors think an individual is able to really function properly with all that medicine? I go from a goofy, silly, jittery high to a falling asleep walking zombie. If this extends into a hospital stay, picture stories or weird text messaging could happen again for those of you having experienced it the last time.
So back to nervous... yes, I am. This will be surgery 4 in less than a year. But I'm ready, bring it on! Pretty soon we can play tic-tac-toe on my stomach with all the incisions.
bawk-bawk, bok-bok, chicken little
I realized that I am a big scaredy cat. A huge chicken. A person who is afraid of the things that go bump in the night.
I remember when I was young and when my own children were young - I was brave! I wasn't afraid of things. I'd venture out into the dark. I'd watch scary movies. I'd try new things. And goodness help anyone that would come near my children. I turned into super woman instantly.
But now, I'm older. My kids are on their own. And I'm a chicken. I need protection. That doesn't just stem from my submissive nature either, although I'm sure it feeds it.
I hear noises and I just know that there is some one or some thing out there, just waiting to pounce. Of course, as of today I have not been pounced. Yet my fear still exists.
I can't watch a scary or intense movie by myself. I never make it to the end and you can bet all doors are double and tripled checked, as well as all other means of entry.
Recently I have been going to work with my son. Part of his company handles foreclosures and this means he is the first person to venture into a house after the foreclosure, making initial lock changes and inspecting the property. When he is extremely busy, I tag along in the evenings. One, he is intelligent enough to know to not go to an initial on his own and two, we make good company for each other.
Anyway, a few have been during the evening hours when things are settling down and getting dark. I just know that the home owner is lurking inside somewhere, angry and ready to beat someone. I just know that the house down the long, I mean really long lane, nestled in the woods is absolutely haunted. I know this because I hear the noises and see the shadows. Again, to date, I have not been beaten or had any adventures with a ghost. But... I am on edge.
You know the furnace that kicks on is someone trying to get in the back door. And don't tell me that the not quite closed screen door has never left you wondering if the burglar is right there, ready to burglarize. I don't get up and check. Goodness, I'm too scared. Plus, he (and I know it's always an evil man, even when it's a ghost. I never imagine it to be otherwise) is going to have to work really hard at getting me. I'm not going to him. So, noises, ghosts, murderers, burglars and what-not.... I stay in my corner, phone nearby, and eventually drift off to sleep. These happenings only occur at night.
I'm not sure why I have become this way. I didn't used to be. It bothers me to some degree that I am that paranoid and now that it is daylight, I can laugh and find humor in it.
I remember when I was young and when my own children were young - I was brave! I wasn't afraid of things. I'd venture out into the dark. I'd watch scary movies. I'd try new things. And goodness help anyone that would come near my children. I turned into super woman instantly.
But now, I'm older. My kids are on their own. And I'm a chicken. I need protection. That doesn't just stem from my submissive nature either, although I'm sure it feeds it.
I hear noises and I just know that there is some one or some thing out there, just waiting to pounce. Of course, as of today I have not been pounced. Yet my fear still exists.
I can't watch a scary or intense movie by myself. I never make it to the end and you can bet all doors are double and tripled checked, as well as all other means of entry.
Recently I have been going to work with my son. Part of his company handles foreclosures and this means he is the first person to venture into a house after the foreclosure, making initial lock changes and inspecting the property. When he is extremely busy, I tag along in the evenings. One, he is intelligent enough to know to not go to an initial on his own and two, we make good company for each other.
Anyway, a few have been during the evening hours when things are settling down and getting dark. I just know that the home owner is lurking inside somewhere, angry and ready to beat someone. I just know that the house down the long, I mean really long lane, nestled in the woods is absolutely haunted. I know this because I hear the noises and see the shadows. Again, to date, I have not been beaten or had any adventures with a ghost. But... I am on edge.
You know the furnace that kicks on is someone trying to get in the back door. And don't tell me that the not quite closed screen door has never left you wondering if the burglar is right there, ready to burglarize. I don't get up and check. Goodness, I'm too scared. Plus, he (and I know it's always an evil man, even when it's a ghost. I never imagine it to be otherwise) is going to have to work really hard at getting me. I'm not going to him. So, noises, ghosts, murderers, burglars and what-not.... I stay in my corner, phone nearby, and eventually drift off to sleep. These happenings only occur at night.
I'm not sure why I have become this way. I didn't used to be. It bothers me to some degree that I am that paranoid and now that it is daylight, I can laugh and find humor in it.
A little work concern
I'm not sure if I have a stalker. I'm hoping I don't and my fingers are crossed. I'm hoping I'm simply reading more into this than what there is.
My work involves dealing with customers who come in to sell this or that commodity. On any given day I will see as few as 200 and as many as 500.
A customer came in today. He didn't have anything to sell. He came to my window, tapped and started talking immediately.
"I have been watching you."
"I spend a lot of time watching you through the windows."
"I can't stop watching you."
"I'm digging you and want to do more."
"I see you everywhere."
"Take my number." (Forcing a piece of paper at me.)
"I want to keep watching you. You're so pretty."
"I have seen you in your car and you look so pretty in your sunglasses."
"I want to touch you."
I started to freak out just a bit. I'm not easily disturbed like that, but he was making me feel just that. Along with his words, his eyes were large and staring, barely blinking, and his tongue was doing this strange wagging, lolling out of the side of his mouth thing. He had an obvious look of someone deranged or "special."
I was very firm and clear that I was not interested.
He kept standing there repeating things. Finally I told him he had to leave.
Apparently he left my window and went to our yard, questioning the men about me, asking if I still live in the same place and if they thought I'd be okay with him coming over. Fortunately the men are protective and he was sent on his way.
I am a little concerned. I'm not sure where he has seen me "everywhere" or even in my car. I get there before any customers are around and leave well after they're gone. I'm still trying to figure out if he really knows where I live or in conversation he was trying to find out.
I reported the incident to my supervisor. I'm hoping it was just an over eager moment for him and he ends up harmless. However, tonight I'm a little on edge.
My work involves dealing with customers who come in to sell this or that commodity. On any given day I will see as few as 200 and as many as 500.
A customer came in today. He didn't have anything to sell. He came to my window, tapped and started talking immediately.
"I have been watching you."
"I spend a lot of time watching you through the windows."
"I can't stop watching you."
"I'm digging you and want to do more."
"I see you everywhere."
"Take my number." (Forcing a piece of paper at me.)
"I want to keep watching you. You're so pretty."
"I have seen you in your car and you look so pretty in your sunglasses."
"I want to touch you."
I started to freak out just a bit. I'm not easily disturbed like that, but he was making me feel just that. Along with his words, his eyes were large and staring, barely blinking, and his tongue was doing this strange wagging, lolling out of the side of his mouth thing. He had an obvious look of someone deranged or "special."
I was very firm and clear that I was not interested.
He kept standing there repeating things. Finally I told him he had to leave.
Apparently he left my window and went to our yard, questioning the men about me, asking if I still live in the same place and if they thought I'd be okay with him coming over. Fortunately the men are protective and he was sent on his way.
I am a little concerned. I'm not sure where he has seen me "everywhere" or even in my car. I get there before any customers are around and leave well after they're gone. I'm still trying to figure out if he really knows where I live or in conversation he was trying to find out.
I reported the incident to my supervisor. I'm hoping it was just an over eager moment for him and he ends up harmless. However, tonight I'm a little on edge.
Work Blah
I had a terrible day at work yesterday. As usual, when my co-worker goes on vacation I am left to my own means. No help is offered. No restroom breaks or lunch given. 13 hour day, 300 customers, 10 export shipments, 8 transfer loads, two different radio channels to monitor and respond to, two computers, radiation checks every two hours and the numerous computer issues, phone calls and emails. I enjoy the energy and stress of it, but the principle behind it all is that no one else would or could do it. I am the only one that does it on my own.
Yesterday "the ass" drove me nuts. For the record, "the ass" is the logistics and scheduling manager. He never gets anything right and then chooses to condescend and dismiss any questions to confirm anything or to his authority. After my fifth call to him to clarify a mess up on his end, I was in tears. He pushed my last button. If I load a wrong container or ship the wrong commodity it could mean hundreds of thousands of dollars. I refuse to do that so I question him and he is always wrong, but doesn't want to admit it.
This morning I had a heart-to-heart with both VP's and told them it was the last straw. If he talks to me in that manner one more time there is going to be a serious issue. At first they both tried to make excuses. I wasn't buying it and told them. I showed them everything he did wrong that I had to fix and told them that something needs to be done. Supposedly they are going to have a talk with him on Monday when he returns from a long weekend. I don't know if anything will change, but I do know that my questions aren't going to stop and I will be emailing and documenting everything to cover myself.
I am not in favor of wishing ill on anyone, but sometimes some people seriously just deserve to be let go.
Yesterday "the ass" drove me nuts. For the record, "the ass" is the logistics and scheduling manager. He never gets anything right and then chooses to condescend and dismiss any questions to confirm anything or to his authority. After my fifth call to him to clarify a mess up on his end, I was in tears. He pushed my last button. If I load a wrong container or ship the wrong commodity it could mean hundreds of thousands of dollars. I refuse to do that so I question him and he is always wrong, but doesn't want to admit it.
This morning I had a heart-to-heart with both VP's and told them it was the last straw. If he talks to me in that manner one more time there is going to be a serious issue. At first they both tried to make excuses. I wasn't buying it and told them. I showed them everything he did wrong that I had to fix and told them that something needs to be done. Supposedly they are going to have a talk with him on Monday when he returns from a long weekend. I don't know if anything will change, but I do know that my questions aren't going to stop and I will be emailing and documenting everything to cover myself.
I am not in favor of wishing ill on anyone, but sometimes some people seriously just deserve to be let go.
I ate, therefore I am
Despite the fact that I'm not a skinny-minnie, I don't eat a lot and tend to eat small portions or nibble throughout the day. The past few months have been even worse with the stomach issues I had to deal with.
With that said, I'm just here to say that tonight I ate like a piglet. Three chicken wings, an ear of corn, peas, macaroni and two entire tomatoes - for dinner! And my stomach didn't hurt at all afterwards!
I was full, sure. It was delicious. But I still found room for three almond stuffed olives for dessert. I don't know if it was the food or the fact that I could eat without getting sick. Either way, it was the best meal I have had in a long time.
With that said, I'm just here to say that tonight I ate like a piglet. Three chicken wings, an ear of corn, peas, macaroni and two entire tomatoes - for dinner! And my stomach didn't hurt at all afterwards!
I was full, sure. It was delicious. But I still found room for three almond stuffed olives for dessert. I don't know if it was the food or the fact that I could eat without getting sick. Either way, it was the best meal I have had in a long time.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
So this is...
... what Tuesday feels like. Can't say I'm thrilled. Can't say I'm totally disappointed. Get back with me later in the day and I can probably make a better decision.
For now, I'm thinking about the lovely (note sarcasm) drive to work and I hear it is raining. All the freaks will be out this morning. I actually enjoy the rain. I love when it storms, the dark sky, thunder and lightning, and heavy downpour. I don't even mind getting wet as long as I don't have anywhere specific to be. Sitting at work all day soaking wet is not the best feeling in life. But, hey, I can roll with the punches if I have to.
On another note, I purchased some new foundation yesterday. I will see how it holds up and I'll write a raving review about it. I am also looking for that perfect "signature" lipstick. I realized I have about 20 different lip glosses, 10 different lipsticks and a handful of other lip implements. I can't say I love any one of them. Suggestions will be taken in the in box.
We have been given work t-shirts to wear. They sport the company name on the front and back and to be quite honest, they are awful. They're big and boxy and manly and I do not like the feel of them. Today I'm going to be a rebel and wear whatever I want to wear. Something feminine and girly. Well, at least something not so ugly. Makes me shiver thinking about them.
I did not sleep great last night. It seems like I woke up every hour thinking it was time to get up. All things considered, I feel pretty rested. I'm still waiting for my chance to be the domestic goddess, though. I will not even pretend. I was made to stay home and clean and cook and do laundry and bend over toilets and bath rubs scrubbing and dinner on the table.... you get the idea.
It is time. I guess I have to put my clothes on. I'm not sure how people would take it seeing me drive naked to work. Oh, what a giggle that creates imagining all my customers coming to my window and seeing me naked. Interesting day.
Unsettled
I feel like a new chapter is going to be starting sometime soon. My life seems to be at a crossroads and I have to decide which path to take. Unfortunately I do not see a light on either path. It's a guessing game, a toss of a coin, a magic eight ball decision.
Lately I have been feeling unsettled. I can't say I'm gloom and doom, but I do have to wonder if I'm going through some kind of depression. It isn't like I'm miserable. I laugh and enjoy many things, but it just seems there is some kind of emptiness within. Something is missing and I can't even put a finger on it.
Maybe I'm expecting too much out of life? Maybe this is all there is? Is this really the best it gets? I have to hope that it isn't. I'm not willing to settle for this life I'm living. I demand more.
I know, I make my own happiness. I have to get up and out there and be active in doing what is best for me. I'll figure it out. I'm simply pondering, wondering and guessing. It will hit me like a brick wall sooner or later.
I'll wake up one morning and a brilliant light will be shining. I'll have all the answers. Until then I'll fumble my way around in the dark. Maybe I should put on a glow stick necklace.
Morning Time
It's a peaceful beginning to my day. Everything around me is quiet except for the odd house noise or the random bark of the neighbor's dog. I enjoy this time of the day. I feel like I'm in control and yet shielded from the rest of the world. I realize there are others just like me, up and getting their morning started so early. But not here with me. My little cul-de-sac isn't alive yet so I feel like the world is mine. No one can touch me. No one can even come close. So, I enjoy it while I can. It is a contented lonely feeling. I know what is ahead of me, but right at this moment in time I don't have to face it. I am sheltered in the time between sleep and work, between reality and fantasy. This is all my time and I can do with it whatever I want.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)