I love and hate holidays all at the same time. It's wonderful to spend time with family but holidays should be 3 or 4 days long so there's no hectic rush. It seems in today's world everyone is so busy running here, visiting there, that time is limited or doesn't seem as precious or quality.

Holidays leave me thankful, reminding me of all the positive in my life and appreciating the people I care about. Holidays also can leave a sadness, whether it's missing someone no longer around or just a general melancholy mood that can creep in if you're not careful involving so many "what ifs" that it can get overwhelming.

I realize I am very lucky and thankful to have what I have and to have such wonderful children and family. I wouldn't trade them for anything. My kids have always been my life.

I hope that everyone has a peaceful Thanksgiving.

Yesterday was a crazy day. My daughter called, crying and hurt. Somehow she fell into a mirrored door. She bruised and scratched up her back. Fortunately no glass pierced her skin. Then my son called and hurt his ankle. Turns out he broke it in two different places and will be getting a cast put on it tomorrow. It really upsets me when my kids get hurt. They both are fine, thank goodness.

I have just been hanging around the house today, goofing off online, sent out a few resumes, did some packing and spent time with my mom. Tomorrow I am going to my daughter's. We'll be cooking for Thanksgiving. This year it will be at my sister's.

The holidays will be a little tough. I miss my dad.

I'm feeling blah today. Not terrible blah, just blah. I did a lot of writing and music listening today. Music can sometimes have a negative effect on me. Happens when I'm such a sensitive cry baby.

I spent some time outside today, but it was a bit cool. Took a short walk and sat on the porch for a while and read. Vegetable soup for dinner and a hot bath afterwards.

Now I am just watching HGTV, or at least listening somewhat to it, and well, kind of just sitting here.

I put my toilet tissue on so that it comes off from the bottom. It is just how I roll. I'm cool like that.

Speaking of cool, I am much cooler than the flip side of the pillow. Ask me, I'll tell you.

I am a freak on many levels. Book, olive, neat, salsa, beach and imagination. Kind of like a fill in the blank sentence.

I hate winter and summer. Unless it's Christmas or I have my feet in the sand on the beach. I complain when it's too cold. I moan when it's too hot. I am a very nice complainer and sweet moaner, though.

I am a blue jean baby kind of woman. I enjoy dressing up and my heels, but nothing compares to the fit of a good pair of blue jeans. Well, unless it's a comfy pair of PJ's to lounge around it.

I am simple and yet so complex. I am woman. But I do not roar. I'm fairly quiet for the most part.

I forget to put on deodorant 5 out of 7 days of the week. Fortunately I don't stink. I don't know what's so complicated about remembering, but I just don't. It's weird.

I have started writing a book. It has taken me months to write three chapters. Do you think I'll ever reach the end?

I hate doing windows. I'll do them because I like the clean sparkle and shine, not to mention the clear view, but it's not something I wake up and jump out of bed for.

I do jump out of bed in the morning. I don't linger. Up and at 'em!

I often times walk through stores smiling at people just to see how many smile back. Very few do. Some people look at me like they think I might be a wee bit touched. Makes me smile even brighter.

I have been known to be clumsy. I trip over my own feet, throw full glasses of drinks on the floor, run into things and so forth. I just giggle and continue on.

I am a huge George Jones fan. I have panties just waiting to be tossed at him. Fortunately for him I am a bit shy and haven't had the courage to throw them. And I'm respectful of his wife. I know that once he has had my panties in his hands and even a touch from me, she'd be history. Heck, I try not to even look at him because my eyes would pull him in.

Notice there have been a lot of sentences that start off with "I"? Yeah, I know, it's terrible. This is all about me. If you would want me to write about you, just let me know and I can do that as well.

For now, that's all you get. :)

I cannot have any more children. With that said, abortions are not for me. I love children far too much. There is a fine line there, though. If the doctor were to tell me that the baby or I would die, then I'd have to consider the abortion. But just to have one to terminate the pregnancy because I decided I didn't want to be pregnant is not something I could do. Note that this is my opinion and what works for me. I'm not against abortions in general. However, this should not be only my decision. The father should have say in things. If a father is liable for child support, then he certainly should have say in whether an abortion is had or not. I don't care if it is the woman's body. If it's the woman's body when she decides to abort, then it can be her body when she decides to keep the child and take care of it herself completely on her own.

Things cannot be both ways. We as humans tend to change things around to fit our needs, desires and moods. We read things and only pick out the few words or sentences that we want to. In doing so, things can be taken in a totally different context. We blow our horns when that car cuts over at the last minute but seem to forget when we do it ourselves because we aren't sure on directions or have our mind elsewhere.

These examples could go on and on. I'm guilty of little things like it myself. I'm not perfect, but I do try to not fall into these traps. Practice what you preach comes to mind right now. So does take the higher road and give as good as you expect to get in return.

We all seem to be in a rush and out for ourselves. Typically rules are in place for good reasons. Sometimes we don't know the reason therefore we might not understand things. We can't just go breaking rules to fit our moods. It's not the right thing to do.

I have seen far too many people complain about this, that or the other and yet two days later they do exactly what they were just complaining about. The world does not revolve solely around one individual.

I think we would all do well and remember this.

I am mature, but laugh and giggle like a silly school girl
I am gentle, but will totally kick you if you mess with the people I love
I am submissive, but can dominate a conversation, give you a million opinions and take care of myself
I am intelligent, but appreciate the idiocy of certain shows
I am knowledgeable, but always open to learning more
I am woman, but don't have to roar to be heard
I am tender-hearted, but don't reveal it to everyone
I am weird, but more sane than most
I am sweet, but won't hesitate to roll my eyes
I am quiet, but sometimes make a lot of noise
I am responsible, but can take a day and do nothing but stay in my pajamas
I am a lover, but can debate with passion on various topics
I am articulate, but sometimes stutter

As we get older we tend to learn more about who we are and what it is we want. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am and I'm finally proud to be the woman I am. I'm not perfect, but I'm perfectly flawed. I believe I'm a good communicator with an open mind and understanding of relationships and how they work. At least, how I believe a good one works.

I chatted a while today on the telephone with an old friend. Our friendship is falling apart and as each year passes I notice that I dislike her more and more. I try hard not to judge her, but the way she handles herself and marriage is something I don't want to be a part of. I realized this when she started using me as an alibi while visiting her lovers. Fortunately I have never been called out on it. I told her the last time to do what she wants, but I can't lie if I'm ever asked.

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Admittedly I am a romantic at heart. Love stories, fairy tales and such are a nice thought. I know that life isn't always perfect like that. But I do believe a relationship that is strong, stable and filled with love can be had.

I remember being at a small shopping strip recently and found myself watching this older couple. I'm guessing their age was around middle seventies. There they were window shopping and holding hands when they drifted apart, admiring different ends of the window. Suddenly they realized this, look at one another and smiled before coming back together to hold hands.

Then I thought of my parents. They were married 49 years before my father passed. No relationship goes without problems and I know that they had their own. But I cannot really fathom being with someone that long, having that much trust and love. It exists, obviously.

Maybe I'm a fool for wanting something like that. I want to hold hands and love and trust and have little secrets. I want to be able to ramble and talk for hours or sit quietly and do nothing at all. I want to fall asleep each night together and wake with the warm sun.

Love is all around us and I feel that so many people let it go so easily without a fight or else ruin it with lies and deceit. I may make mistakes, but in it I'm always open and honest. Lying and being deceitful are things I cannot do or tolerate.

Of course, my past dictates this. I have had a really bad relationship. One filled with abuse and anger and hurt. I have had a mediocre relationship that was just enough to get by on. And I have had a tiny glimpse of a really good relationship.

I'm at a point in my life where I want to find that really good relationship and develop it into something wonderfully blissful. I'm not a very demanding or needy person. It doesn't take a lot to please me. I find amazing pleasure in the tiniest of things. I do, however, want someone to share all those things with.

For a couple of months as I was driving to work I would see an elderly man sitting outside and he'd wave to me every single morning. It was always dark out, sometimes it would be raining and sometimes it would be chilly. He was always there and I always waved back.

For the past week or so he has not been outside. I have been wondering what happened to him. It's strange how he was a part of my morning routine and I didn't know anything about him. His name could be George or Scott or Tom. He might have family and friends, or he could be all alone. I cannot even describe his looks very well. Yet I was getting used to his presence.

I don't know who to ask about him. I like to think he's on vacation or visiting family somewhere. I hope that he is okay and that he returns.

Think about how many people are in your life that you don't really know. Maybe we should all take a little extra time to stop and say hello to the quiet person who blends in, ask the old man who has coffee every morning at the gas station how he is, tell the woman she is wearing a lovely shade of blue. If we would subtract all these strangers from our lives, we might be surprised at what we're missing. If we take a moment to say hello, we might be surprised at what we gain.

Good morning, Palmyra! It's a bright and early 5:52 a.m., a little breeze is blowing that nasty skunk smell in my window. He seriously is going down. He being the skunk that is torturing and taunting me. I know he's out there. I ran into him a few times and even threw a few really hard items at him. Unfortunately I don't have great aim, but it did chase him away for the moment.

It's really dark out here in the early morning hours and I'm always afraid that turning the corner going to my car is going to put me in some kind of confrontation with him. I'm terrified he'll spray me. Wouldn't that just leave a lovely odor for me to carry around all day?

My research supports that they are not aggressive creatures, but I don't know if I'm buying that. And the only way to really get rid of him is to kill him or catch him, cage him and cart him off miles upon miles. If he isn't taken far enough away apparently he'll find his way back.

I'll say it again, he's going down. This is war.

Blah. I have had a zillion thoughts swimming around in my head tonight. Unfortunately I couldn't put a single one to paper. I guess sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Or something like that. :)

Time for bed.

If I had my choice I would be living the ole' "barefoot and pregnant" life, cleaning, cooking, dinner on the table for my man when he came home, and all that other 50's idealistic stuff. Minus the pregnant because that isn't happening any longer. Of course, I wouldn't want my desires to hold any other woman back so take it with a grain of salt and realize this is for ME only. But alas, I cannot do that. I work.

And because of that work, I had a yucky day today. Not yucky in the sense that my world is falling apart. Just yucky in that people are crazy and disorganized and I have no clue who does the hiring but they need to be fired!

My nuisance at work struck a nerve today by telling me that I cannot take my lunch at such a late hour. I really don't know if he is joking or is serious. Either way he doesn't know me that well and he is not my boss. Unfortunately I had to get rude with him and politely tell him to leave me alone and stop sticking his nose in my business. I know, sounds really rude, huh? It is all in the tone.

Everything to do with the new insurance company we just bought is in total chaos. Organized people, like myself and a few others, are just confused at the state of disorganization, lack of work flow and the number of chiefs trying to head the tribe. I don't want to be a chief. I just want to tell the chief what to do.

I like my job. The work I do is fun and I enjoy going to work for that so I'm trying hard to let the rest roll off my back. Sometimes it is tough when one minute we are leaving early due to lack of work and 15 minutes later we are working 3 hours overtime because all of a sudden there was found numerous applications that need to be taken care of immediately.

So I'll just daydream of my bare feet prancing around in the kitchen, humming and cooking, and being forced over the kitchen table or pushed to my knees. That seems to help me through the tough spots at work. I smile. I always smile and people comment that I'm the most smiling employee there is.

If only they all knew my secret. :)