Today was my follow up visit with the surgeon.  I was so happy when the nurse took the staples out of my stomach.  The doctor says everything looks great and that I am free to go back to work on the 29th with no restrictions.  Unfortunately he didn't give me the clear to take a full-on shower or bath for a few more days.  He commented that the allergic type reaction I had to the bandages and tape looks far worse than the incisions.  I told him that they feel even worse than they look and that it is itching and burning and driving me crazy. 

So, I'm good to go, out of the clear and ready to try to get back to being me.  I am excited about returning to work and yet on another hand I'm still thinking it would be nice to just be that domestic goddess I enjoy being.  But alas, reality soaks in.

Life's Little Update

Surgery is over and it is almost time to go back to work.  I have just one more week to live the life of luxury.  That's a bit of sarcasm in case you aren't catching on.  It isn't like I was on vacation.  However, I will say it was appreciated.  My follow up visit is on Tuesday and I'm hoping it all goes well.  I do miss working, but at the same time if I really did not have to work - I would not. :)

College starts tomorrow.  I am a little nervous.  I have four classes - two online and two in the classroom.  I know I will do fine once I get over that initial period of having to use my brain and study and be organized.  It will definitely put constraints on the free time I used to have.  But I like being busy so I don't really mind.  At least sitting here typing this tonight I don't mind.  Ask me again in a couple of weeks and I might have a change in attitude.

My son and his girlfriend started the remodel on their new home today.  They are pulling up all the carpets and doing hardwood floors. Or shall I say refinishing the hardwood that is there already.  In a month or so they will be remodeling the basement which will become my happy abode for a while.

I had to take my daughter to the urgent care center today.  Her dog bit her in the cheek.  When I first saw it, I was freaked out.  She had so much blood literally pouring out of her cheek that I thought half her cheek was ripped off.  I immediately grabbed a towel and put it to her cheek, told her to get her flip flops and we had to go NOW.  Fortunately once we got there and were seen it wasn't as bad as the blood made me believe.  She's doing alright tonight and I'm relieved.

My Aunt's Passing

My aunt passed away this morning. She went into the hospital early Thursday morning with pneumonia on top of her lung cancer. At approximately 9:55 a.m. she took her last breath. It was a sad moment. As I watched her trying to breath this morning I was really upset. She was so clearly struggling and fighting for each breath she took. The doctors and nurses were doing as much as they could to keep her comfortable in her last moments.

I was amazed, and yet not so surprised, at how many people came to see her over the past two days. So many people that I hadn't seen in years and twice as many that I didn't know. These strangers to me came to see her because at some point in their life my aunt had taken them in when they had no where to go, fed them, clothed them or offered some kind of care and support. She never asked anything in return and most often I know she could have used some help herself in some way or another.

My mom, another aunt and I went shopping for her. We picked out a beautiful dress that we knew she'd love. I've learned that funerals are for the mourners, but the funeral should represent the individual. My mom and aunt were a bit upset at first that instead of flowers on the casket, my aunt expressed to have an afghan spread out on it. I had to remind them that her wishes were important and we're not out to impress anyone. A few other things came up and I believe I finally made them both understand that a funeral doesn't have to be perfect - life certainly never is - so make her (my aunt) beautiful in that last viewing and say goodbye. Grief the loss of her, not the loss of useless flowers on the casket.

Good people come and go from our life in so many ways. I'm glad I have the memories I have and cannot express the importance of spending a little time with those we care about.

A Lesson

My mother told me just yesterday that she read an article that stated how women up into their 70's and 80's still enjoy sex. The article went on to say how statistics show that many women get depressed or feel they are missing something when they go without.

This conversation took place while driving with my mom and her sister to go see my sick aunt. My mom then proceeded to tell us how long she has gone without sex. Then my aunt piped it on how long she has gone without. No wonder these women are crazy. ;)

Now keep in mind my dad passed less than a year ago. What's even worse is my aunt is still married, but they (aghast!) sleep in different beds in different rooms. I told them both I'd go find them someone to take care of their needs. I told them we could hit the toy store and purchase something fun for them. I think they were caught off guard a bit and embarrassed. They soon got over that and I couldn't believe this conversation was happening.

My aunt said she was picky. She spouted off how she would want someone sexy and fit. Of course I had to remind her that she was married and what did she really care what he looked like as long as he "gave it to her good!" She sputtered a bit and finally agreed that in that case it didn't really matter at all. I also reminded her that I personally wasn't condoning cheating, but I was all for sex and happiness, peace and love.

Since I don't really feel comfy fixing either of them up with a stud muffin, I figure the next best thing is a Hitachi Magic Wand.

So the lesson here is that if your girlfriend, your wife, your friend with benefits or whatever seems a bit off, depressed, upset or insane... give her some sex!

A Visit with My Aunt

Last week my aunt was told she had just two months to live. Then a few days later she was told that the lung cancer was simply taking over and she probably has even less time.

I decided to take my mom to visit yesterday. We stopped by her other sister's house so she could come along. During our visit, everyone cried and talked a little about memories. My aunt's voice is barely audible and quite hoarse. It's obvious how much pain she is in and she can hardly move. She had an accident while there and felt so embarrassed.

The sadness I felt yesterday while visiting my aunt was a bit different. I don't want to lose my aunt, but it wasn't as selfish of a feeling as what I felt when my dad was ill and at his passing. I felt her pain and the terrible life she has lived. It was rushing all around us in that room. I was angry that her kids let her get to that point and didn't try to make things good for her. Not that they are God and certainly not that they can make the cancer disappear. But they could be good children in her last days. It's frustrating.

Her two remaining sons have been nothing but a drain on her. Even during this time, one of her sons took her pain medicine and sold it. Idiots that should be in jail. Through it all though, she loves them both. I guess she figures at this point let it all go and love.

She told her sisters how much she misses them when they are away. She held their hands. She dozed in and out of a sleepy state most of the time. Just in the time we were there, she took numerous medicines, breathing treatments and oxygen. When asked if she was hungry, she shook her head no. But when they asked her if she wanted her favorite food, a Taco Bell meximelt, she whispered, "just one" and ate it all when they brought it back.

She didn't act upset or angry or mad. I didn't get the sense that she regretted anything in her life. I could see a little sadness in her eyes. But as sick as she is, when she smiled the room still lit up. This woman who gave and gave and took on so much from everyone, and is dying from the horrible disease of lung cancer... she smiled.

It was awesome. Goodness knows, we can all take a lesson from her.

Early Morning Interlude

She pulled into the dark parking lot and let the engine idle. Across the narrow street she could see various men going in and out of the restaurant, and she hoped none recognized her car. She felt embarrassed waiting there in the early morning darkness and yet her panties were getting damp from excitement.

It didn't take her a second to get out of her car and into his once he pulled up next to her. Sliding into the passenger seat, her face flushed and she offered him a sexy smile. Thinking of how much she wanted his dick, a small murmur escaped from deep within her throat. She tried to cover it with a cough of some sort and he simply laughed.

He just sat there and she wondered why he didn't pull away. The sun was starting to come up and she was nervous what the light would reveal to anyone paying attention. Obviously he didn't care. He unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. She swallowed hard and looked around, shyly tucking a piece of hair behind her ears. He didn't hesitate as he grabbed her head and forced her beautiful mouth down on him. And dear almighty, she almost came right then.

Bent over the gear shift, the position was terribly uncomfortable, and yet she couldn't get enough of him. She shifted and moved, hungrily feeding on his dick there in the soon to be broad daylight. She bobbed and slobbered, letting drool spill out down her chin and over his balls. End pieces of her long hair got wet and she kept on. She wanted him deep down her throat.

Quickly he pushed her off of him, telling her to sit up and act lady-like. All this followed by his evil laugh. She pouted and grunted her disapproval as she straightened herself. Primping in the overhead mirror, she wiped a smudge of mascara from her cheek and fluffed her hair. He drove off without a word and she quietly watched him. His cock still stood free and proud. She reached over to touch him and he allowed her to stroke him a few times before he growled and told her to stop. Again, she pouted, and obeyed.

Squirming in her seat, she fidgeted with her hands, twisting her fingers and tapping her foot gently. He was driving her crazy. This fact was nothing new but always came as a surprise. She just wished he'd stop and put something in her. She didn't care which hole. She just ached and needed him.

Her mind wondered as he drove and when he stopped, she was surprised. Not really sure where they were, she couldn't see anyone or anything. However, traffic could be heard somewhere in the close proximity. He opened his door and told her to get out of the car. Instinctively she obeyed and followed him, trailing him like a sex starved slut. Her heels dug into the dirt and small pellets of gravel mixed with larger one kept her off balance.

He stopped suddenly and she bumped into the back of him. He turned and put her on her knees. It hurt as the gravel bit into her soft skin. She tried to shift, tried to pull her skirt down over her knees for protection. None of it worked. He forcefully rammed his cock in her mouth and started face fucking her. She couldn't focus, afraid someone would appear she pushed at him gently and then grabbed his ass for support. He kept fucking her face and she soon forgot anything else.

He slowly eased up and let her take over. Her left hand circled his thickness and she started slowly stroking him. Her warm mouth covered his head and with each hand stroke her mouth took him in deeper. This continued for several minutes before she let her hand fall. Wrapping both arms around his body, her fingers dug into his ass as she pulled him close, taking his cock deep down into her throat.

She gagged, relentless she kept him there and moaned as his hips thrust forward. He made noises, grunted and moaned a few times. He quickly withdrew and shot his load on her face. Unexpected and caught off guard, his cum covered parts of her cheek, nose and lips. A small drop hung from her chin. She looked up at him, wiping her chin with a finger and licking it. His eyes were shut and his hand still held his penis. She leaned in and suck his head, inspiring a shiver from him.

He helped her up and looked at her. As she stood there, he could feel his loins growling with hunger for her again already. Cum covered, hair a mess, bits of gravel embedded in her knees and clothes disheveled - the picture perfect slut for him. He grinned as she was more worried about wiping and licking the cum from her face than she was about her knees scratched and bleeding.

Just as they got back in the car, she realized that they were simply on the backside of the parking lot of his work. Anyone could have come across them. She started to get excited again. Taking her back to her car, he gave her the rules for the day. She noted them all to memory just as he all but tossed her out of his car and told her to get her slutty ass home. The walk of shame that six feet to her car felt like one hundred feet as his co-workers were coming out of the restaurant.

It has been some time since I've written anything. I took a nap earlier and now find myself unable to sleep. Morning will come early and despite the nap, I will still be tired. Doctors, hospitals, medicines, work and a few people have had me a mess since mid-February. I have another surgery scheduled for August 12 and hopefully that will be it. I am ready to be on the track to better health and a life filled without too many doctors. Although, goodness knows that lung doctor is a hot one!

Work still kicks my butt and at the end of the day I'm completely worn out. The added high temperatures and crazy humidity is enough to make me cry out for a sugar daddy! So far no one is listening, though. ;) Lately I have had to deal with idiots at work. When I first started there everyone told me it wouldn't take long for the customers to drive me insane. I think what they meant to say is that it wouldn't take long for my co-workers to make me want to curse and pull my hair out.

The men at work gossip like a bunch of bored old women on a party line phone. I am the work whore they say and apparently I am in competition with another woman there. I have never been a whore in my life. Except that one time with that one man, but then it was really more like just being his personal whore. Anyway, those men can burn up the radio and CB like there's no tomorrow. I went out with someone at work and that is where my problem started. Plus, not to mention the work ratio of man to woman is about 100 to 1. I'm getting sidetracked. The point is now the rumor is that I have a different man from work for every day of the week. What the idiots fail to realize is, I have much higher standards than that and if they really factored in how much I have been sick, I don't have the time or energy for them. I was pretty upset when I heard this rumor. Not so much because someone dared to think I might be a "whore" but because they lack the intelligence to really know me or what's the truth. I have decided they aren't worth my energy in any regard and they can say whatever they want. I know what is true. 

I am just a drifter right now in so many ways. I find myself having highs and lows and yet I'm okay with everything going on in my life and around me. I am learning new things about myself and people in general, about health issues and life.

I find myself changing and evolving. I'm still the same me, but different in some regards. My mind is a bit more open and I am certainly less judgmental. Oh, and I'm more outspoken and try much harder to not sugar coat things.

Other than that, not a lot going on. Kids are doing great. Daughter started a new job, got a new car and is doing wonderful. Son started a new job, buying a house and is doing wonderful as well. I'm so proud they're growing into such mature, responsible, content and good adults. I'm not biased either. They really are. :)

My dad's birthday and my parents anniversary has come and gone. My mom did okay through it all. She still has her moments and I know she misses him something fierce at times. She's a tough cookie and I am proud of her. She has been venturing out and doing things. This weekend we are going to visit her sister, my aunt with cancer. She was told today that she has two months. Some things in life suck.