I cannot have any more children. With that said, abortions are not for me. I love children far too much. There is a fine line there, though. If the doctor were to tell me that the baby or I would die, then I'd have to consider the abortion. But just to have one to terminate the pregnancy because I decided I didn't want to be pregnant is not something I could do. Note that this is my opinion and what works for me. I'm not against abortions in general. However, this should not be only my decision. The father should have say in things. If a father is liable for child support, then he certainly should have say in whether an abortion is had or not. I don't care if it is the woman's body. If it's the woman's body when she decides to abort, then it can be her body when she decides to keep the child and take care of it herself completely on her own.
Things cannot be both ways. We as humans tend to change things around to fit our needs, desires and moods. We read things and only pick out the few words or sentences that we want to. In doing so, things can be taken in a totally different context. We blow our horns when that car cuts over at the last minute but seem to forget when we do it ourselves because we aren't sure on directions or have our mind elsewhere.
These examples could go on and on. I'm guilty of little things like it myself. I'm not perfect, but I do try to not fall into these traps. Practice what you preach comes to mind right now. So does take the higher road and give as good as you expect to get in return.
We all seem to be in a rush and out for ourselves. Typically rules are in place for good reasons. Sometimes we don't know the reason therefore we might not understand things. We can't just go breaking rules to fit our moods. It's not the right thing to do.
I have seen far too many people complain about this, that or the other and yet two days later they do exactly what they were just complaining about. The world does not revolve solely around one individual.
I think we would all do well and remember this.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I am mature, but laugh and giggle like a silly school girl
I am gentle, but will totally kick you if you mess with the people I love
I am submissive, but can dominate a conversation, give you a million opinions and take care of myself
I am intelligent, but appreciate the idiocy of certain shows
I am knowledgeable, but always open to learning more
I am woman, but don't have to roar to be heard
I am tender-hearted, but don't reveal it to everyone
I am weird, but more sane than most
I am sweet, but won't hesitate to roll my eyes
I am quiet, but sometimes make a lot of noise
I am responsible, but can take a day and do nothing but stay in my pajamas
I am a lover, but can debate with passion on various topics
I am articulate, but sometimes stutter
I am gentle, but will totally kick you if you mess with the people I love
I am submissive, but can dominate a conversation, give you a million opinions and take care of myself
I am intelligent, but appreciate the idiocy of certain shows
I am knowledgeable, but always open to learning more
I am woman, but don't have to roar to be heard
I am tender-hearted, but don't reveal it to everyone
I am weird, but more sane than most
I am sweet, but won't hesitate to roll my eyes
I am quiet, but sometimes make a lot of noise
I am responsible, but can take a day and do nothing but stay in my pajamas
I am a lover, but can debate with passion on various topics
I am articulate, but sometimes stutter
As we get older we tend to learn more about who we are and what it is we want. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am and I'm finally proud to be the woman I am. I'm not perfect, but I'm perfectly flawed. I believe I'm a good communicator with an open mind and understanding of relationships and how they work. At least, how I believe a good one works.
I chatted a while today on the telephone with an old friend. Our friendship is falling apart and as each year passes I notice that I dislike her more and more. I try hard not to judge her, but the way she handles herself and marriage is something I don't want to be a part of. I realized this when she started using me as an alibi while visiting her lovers. Fortunately I have never been called out on it. I told her the last time to do what she wants, but I can't lie if I'm ever asked.
I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Admittedly I am a romantic at heart. Love stories, fairy tales and such are a nice thought. I know that life isn't always perfect like that. But I do believe a relationship that is strong, stable and filled with love can be had.
I remember being at a small shopping strip recently and found myself watching this older couple. I'm guessing their age was around middle seventies. There they were window shopping and holding hands when they drifted apart, admiring different ends of the window. Suddenly they realized this, look at one another and smiled before coming back together to hold hands.
Then I thought of my parents. They were married 49 years before my father passed. No relationship goes without problems and I know that they had their own. But I cannot really fathom being with someone that long, having that much trust and love. It exists, obviously.
Maybe I'm a fool for wanting something like that. I want to hold hands and love and trust and have little secrets. I want to be able to ramble and talk for hours or sit quietly and do nothing at all. I want to fall asleep each night together and wake with the warm sun.
Love is all around us and I feel that so many people let it go so easily without a fight or else ruin it with lies and deceit. I may make mistakes, but in it I'm always open and honest. Lying and being deceitful are things I cannot do or tolerate.
Of course, my past dictates this. I have had a really bad relationship. One filled with abuse and anger and hurt. I have had a mediocre relationship that was just enough to get by on. And I have had a tiny glimpse of a really good relationship.
I'm at a point in my life where I want to find that really good relationship and develop it into something wonderfully blissful. I'm not a very demanding or needy person. It doesn't take a lot to please me. I find amazing pleasure in the tiniest of things. I do, however, want someone to share all those things with.
I chatted a while today on the telephone with an old friend. Our friendship is falling apart and as each year passes I notice that I dislike her more and more. I try hard not to judge her, but the way she handles herself and marriage is something I don't want to be a part of. I realized this when she started using me as an alibi while visiting her lovers. Fortunately I have never been called out on it. I told her the last time to do what she wants, but I can't lie if I'm ever asked.
I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Admittedly I am a romantic at heart. Love stories, fairy tales and such are a nice thought. I know that life isn't always perfect like that. But I do believe a relationship that is strong, stable and filled with love can be had.
I remember being at a small shopping strip recently and found myself watching this older couple. I'm guessing their age was around middle seventies. There they were window shopping and holding hands when they drifted apart, admiring different ends of the window. Suddenly they realized this, look at one another and smiled before coming back together to hold hands.
Then I thought of my parents. They were married 49 years before my father passed. No relationship goes without problems and I know that they had their own. But I cannot really fathom being with someone that long, having that much trust and love. It exists, obviously.
Maybe I'm a fool for wanting something like that. I want to hold hands and love and trust and have little secrets. I want to be able to ramble and talk for hours or sit quietly and do nothing at all. I want to fall asleep each night together and wake with the warm sun.
Love is all around us and I feel that so many people let it go so easily without a fight or else ruin it with lies and deceit. I may make mistakes, but in it I'm always open and honest. Lying and being deceitful are things I cannot do or tolerate.
Of course, my past dictates this. I have had a really bad relationship. One filled with abuse and anger and hurt. I have had a mediocre relationship that was just enough to get by on. And I have had a tiny glimpse of a really good relationship.
I'm at a point in my life where I want to find that really good relationship and develop it into something wonderfully blissful. I'm not a very demanding or needy person. It doesn't take a lot to please me. I find amazing pleasure in the tiniest of things. I do, however, want someone to share all those things with.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
For a couple of months as I was driving to work I would see an elderly man sitting outside and he'd wave to me every single morning. It was always dark out, sometimes it would be raining and sometimes it would be chilly. He was always there and I always waved back.
For the past week or so he has not been outside. I have been wondering what happened to him. It's strange how he was a part of my morning routine and I didn't know anything about him. His name could be George or Scott or Tom. He might have family and friends, or he could be all alone. I cannot even describe his looks very well. Yet I was getting used to his presence.
I don't know who to ask about him. I like to think he's on vacation or visiting family somewhere. I hope that he is okay and that he returns.
Think about how many people are in your life that you don't really know. Maybe we should all take a little extra time to stop and say hello to the quiet person who blends in, ask the old man who has coffee every morning at the gas station how he is, tell the woman she is wearing a lovely shade of blue. If we would subtract all these strangers from our lives, we might be surprised at what we're missing. If we take a moment to say hello, we might be surprised at what we gain.
For the past week or so he has not been outside. I have been wondering what happened to him. It's strange how he was a part of my morning routine and I didn't know anything about him. His name could be George or Scott or Tom. He might have family and friends, or he could be all alone. I cannot even describe his looks very well. Yet I was getting used to his presence.
I don't know who to ask about him. I like to think he's on vacation or visiting family somewhere. I hope that he is okay and that he returns.
Think about how many people are in your life that you don't really know. Maybe we should all take a little extra time to stop and say hello to the quiet person who blends in, ask the old man who has coffee every morning at the gas station how he is, tell the woman she is wearing a lovely shade of blue. If we would subtract all these strangers from our lives, we might be surprised at what we're missing. If we take a moment to say hello, we might be surprised at what we gain.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Good morning, Palmyra! It's a bright and early 5:52 a.m., a little breeze is blowing that nasty skunk smell in my window. He seriously is going down. He being the skunk that is torturing and taunting me. I know he's out there. I ran into him a few times and even threw a few really hard items at him. Unfortunately I don't have great aim, but it did chase him away for the moment.
It's really dark out here in the early morning hours and I'm always afraid that turning the corner going to my car is going to put me in some kind of confrontation with him. I'm terrified he'll spray me. Wouldn't that just leave a lovely odor for me to carry around all day?
My research supports that they are not aggressive creatures, but I don't know if I'm buying that. And the only way to really get rid of him is to kill him or catch him, cage him and cart him off miles upon miles. If he isn't taken far enough away apparently he'll find his way back.
I'll say it again, he's going down. This is war.
It's really dark out here in the early morning hours and I'm always afraid that turning the corner going to my car is going to put me in some kind of confrontation with him. I'm terrified he'll spray me. Wouldn't that just leave a lovely odor for me to carry around all day?
My research supports that they are not aggressive creatures, but I don't know if I'm buying that. And the only way to really get rid of him is to kill him or catch him, cage him and cart him off miles upon miles. If he isn't taken far enough away apparently he'll find his way back.
I'll say it again, he's going down. This is war.
Monday, October 11, 2010
If I had my choice I would be living the ole' "barefoot and pregnant" life, cleaning, cooking, dinner on the table for my man when he came home, and all that other 50's idealistic stuff. Minus the pregnant because that isn't happening any longer. Of course, I wouldn't want my desires to hold any other woman back so take it with a grain of salt and realize this is for ME only. But alas, I cannot do that. I work.
And because of that work, I had a yucky day today. Not yucky in the sense that my world is falling apart. Just yucky in that people are crazy and disorganized and I have no clue who does the hiring but they need to be fired!
My nuisance at work struck a nerve today by telling me that I cannot take my lunch at such a late hour. I really don't know if he is joking or is serious. Either way he doesn't know me that well and he is not my boss. Unfortunately I had to get rude with him and politely tell him to leave me alone and stop sticking his nose in my business. I know, sounds really rude, huh? It is all in the tone.
Everything to do with the new insurance company we just bought is in total chaos. Organized people, like myself and a few others, are just confused at the state of disorganization, lack of work flow and the number of chiefs trying to head the tribe. I don't want to be a chief. I just want to tell the chief what to do.
I like my job. The work I do is fun and I enjoy going to work for that so I'm trying hard to let the rest roll off my back. Sometimes it is tough when one minute we are leaving early due to lack of work and 15 minutes later we are working 3 hours overtime because all of a sudden there was found numerous applications that need to be taken care of immediately.
So I'll just daydream of my bare feet prancing around in the kitchen, humming and cooking, and being forced over the kitchen table or pushed to my knees. That seems to help me through the tough spots at work. I smile. I always smile and people comment that I'm the most smiling employee there is.
If only they all knew my secret. :)
And because of that work, I had a yucky day today. Not yucky in the sense that my world is falling apart. Just yucky in that people are crazy and disorganized and I have no clue who does the hiring but they need to be fired!
My nuisance at work struck a nerve today by telling me that I cannot take my lunch at such a late hour. I really don't know if he is joking or is serious. Either way he doesn't know me that well and he is not my boss. Unfortunately I had to get rude with him and politely tell him to leave me alone and stop sticking his nose in my business. I know, sounds really rude, huh? It is all in the tone.
Everything to do with the new insurance company we just bought is in total chaos. Organized people, like myself and a few others, are just confused at the state of disorganization, lack of work flow and the number of chiefs trying to head the tribe. I don't want to be a chief. I just want to tell the chief what to do.
I like my job. The work I do is fun and I enjoy going to work for that so I'm trying hard to let the rest roll off my back. Sometimes it is tough when one minute we are leaving early due to lack of work and 15 minutes later we are working 3 hours overtime because all of a sudden there was found numerous applications that need to be taken care of immediately.
So I'll just daydream of my bare feet prancing around in the kitchen, humming and cooking, and being forced over the kitchen table or pushed to my knees. That seems to help me through the tough spots at work. I smile. I always smile and people comment that I'm the most smiling employee there is.
If only they all knew my secret. :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Breezy with a chance of peace
It is a wonderful day. The weather has cooled off and there's an amazing breeze blowing through the house. I have one load in the dryer and then my chores are completely done for the day. I do believe after that is finished I am going to take a long hot bath and put on my wonderful pink fuzzy cupcake covered pajamas and find an excellent movie to watch.
I have lost 4 pounds on my lifestyle change. Once I was over my initial "dangit, that's not enough!" thought, I'm pleased with the results so far. I slipped a couple of times and had a coca-cola, but I have also re-discovered a few really healthy food choices that I had lost somewhere in the land of processed food. I was parking right across the street from work, but starting tomorrow I'm 5 blocks away and that, coupled with taking the stairs, is an additional improvement to my health.
Work is taking up a lot of my time and pretty soon will take up even more as workload increases for a few months. I have to remember that sleep is just as important for me. 12 hours, 6 days a week is a lot of time put in the office and often times I can't get right to sleep when I get home or else I have a date night that throws everything off. It will all balance out in the end though as long as I keep the big picture in mind.
So, yes, I'm pleased so far.
I have lost 4 pounds on my lifestyle change. Once I was over my initial "dangit, that's not enough!" thought, I'm pleased with the results so far. I slipped a couple of times and had a coca-cola, but I have also re-discovered a few really healthy food choices that I had lost somewhere in the land of processed food. I was parking right across the street from work, but starting tomorrow I'm 5 blocks away and that, coupled with taking the stairs, is an additional improvement to my health.
Work is taking up a lot of my time and pretty soon will take up even more as workload increases for a few months. I have to remember that sleep is just as important for me. 12 hours, 6 days a week is a lot of time put in the office and often times I can't get right to sleep when I get home or else I have a date night that throws everything off. It will all balance out in the end though as long as I keep the big picture in mind.
So, yes, I'm pleased so far.
A little revealing
Yes, it is happening right now as I write. A special midnight rendezvous with myself. Not quite as exciting as it might sound. Just means my mind is unable to slow down so I can't sleep. Thought you were going to find something ultra-pervy here, didn't you? ;)
I never pay attention to how I put the toilet tissue on the roll. Lately I have been noticing that a lot of people tend to be a little weird about it. Whether it rolls from the top or the bottom, sooner or later it is going to run out. I'm just thankful that it is there.
With that said, I'm a little weird about things myself.
Please pick your feet up when you walk on my rugs, don't scoot them. I can't stand when a rug is messed up in any manner, whether it is not centered, rolled up on a corner or just crooked in some way. Drives me nutso.
I count corners. So many things have corners, both outside and inside. Looking around my bedroom right now there are corners on the door, the ceiling, the dressers, the chest, and window. Then things such as books, make up, pictures and cell phone. The list could go on and depending on the item there might be more than one set of corners. I do this without realizing it half the time. At least I know I can count.
Just a few nights ago I realized I cannot go through the guide on the television backwards. I don't care if I'm on channel 523, I scroll quickly all the way to the beginning, starting with channel 1, and then scroll down to look at my options. Doesn't matter if I'm looking for a specific channel even. I don't stop on it. I go to the beginning and then go down to it.
I love lip gloss and chapstick. I switched purses yesterday and had 9 different kind. I can only wear one at a time, why do I need so many? (I don't know, so quit asking me, please.)
My bedroom isn't all that huge. Looking around, right off the bat I can count 14 candles. That isn't counting the ones tucked away not for use yet or the tiny tea light candles. I'm preparing myself for the fall of the year. I love when there is a chill to the air, I can open my window and light candles in the dusk of the evening. And read a great book. That isn't the weirdness. The weirdness is I light them in order of size.
I must stop here. I can't have you thinking I'm "too" weird. Besides I need my beauty sleep.
Goodnight.
I never pay attention to how I put the toilet tissue on the roll. Lately I have been noticing that a lot of people tend to be a little weird about it. Whether it rolls from the top or the bottom, sooner or later it is going to run out. I'm just thankful that it is there.
With that said, I'm a little weird about things myself.
Please pick your feet up when you walk on my rugs, don't scoot them. I can't stand when a rug is messed up in any manner, whether it is not centered, rolled up on a corner or just crooked in some way. Drives me nutso.
I count corners. So many things have corners, both outside and inside. Looking around my bedroom right now there are corners on the door, the ceiling, the dressers, the chest, and window. Then things such as books, make up, pictures and cell phone. The list could go on and depending on the item there might be more than one set of corners. I do this without realizing it half the time. At least I know I can count.
Just a few nights ago I realized I cannot go through the guide on the television backwards. I don't care if I'm on channel 523, I scroll quickly all the way to the beginning, starting with channel 1, and then scroll down to look at my options. Doesn't matter if I'm looking for a specific channel even. I don't stop on it. I go to the beginning and then go down to it.
I love lip gloss and chapstick. I switched purses yesterday and had 9 different kind. I can only wear one at a time, why do I need so many? (I don't know, so quit asking me, please.)
My bedroom isn't all that huge. Looking around, right off the bat I can count 14 candles. That isn't counting the ones tucked away not for use yet or the tiny tea light candles. I'm preparing myself for the fall of the year. I love when there is a chill to the air, I can open my window and light candles in the dusk of the evening. And read a great book. That isn't the weirdness. The weirdness is I light them in order of size.
I must stop here. I can't have you thinking I'm "too" weird. Besides I need my beauty sleep.
Goodnight.
Peace for him
My father came home from the hospital nine days ago. He knew he did not want to live the rest of his days on life support. The doctors said there was a very high probability that he wouldn't make the trip home and if he did it would be a few short hours before he passed.
For those of you that know my father, you know his strength and will power. He made it home. Obviously he made it nine days. His first two days home were amazing. He smiled, he ate and drank and just had great days. He looked good. So much so that we all started to really think positive. While he was bedridden, couldn't talk and was so very ill, he was home and clearly happy about it.
Within the next 36 hours he took a turn for the worse as his carbon dioxide built up. He had a bad night on Thursday. So much so that his nurse instructed us on what to give him out of his special care package.
On Friday the nurse came and bathed him. She did a great job. My dad was clean and spiffy and so handsome propped up in his bed. Oddly, from that moment on he didn't move, not a toe a finger or anything. He sat there so peaceful looking and it just seemed like he was okay with things, everything was right in his world.
Today at 11:45 a.m. he passed away. It has been a tough day for everyone, especially mom. Saying goodbye is difficult even when we know the peace he has received. He will forever be in our hearts and the wonderful memories we have will make us laugh, cry, and smile. He was such an amazing man and I have been so blessed and lucky.
For those of you that know my father, you know his strength and will power. He made it home. Obviously he made it nine days. His first two days home were amazing. He smiled, he ate and drank and just had great days. He looked good. So much so that we all started to really think positive. While he was bedridden, couldn't talk and was so very ill, he was home and clearly happy about it.
Within the next 36 hours he took a turn for the worse as his carbon dioxide built up. He had a bad night on Thursday. So much so that his nurse instructed us on what to give him out of his special care package.
On Friday the nurse came and bathed him. She did a great job. My dad was clean and spiffy and so handsome propped up in his bed. Oddly, from that moment on he didn't move, not a toe a finger or anything. He sat there so peaceful looking and it just seemed like he was okay with things, everything was right in his world.
Today at 11:45 a.m. he passed away. It has been a tough day for everyone, especially mom. Saying goodbye is difficult even when we know the peace he has received. He will forever be in our hearts and the wonderful memories we have will make us laugh, cry, and smile. He was such an amazing man and I have been so blessed and lucky.
Tough time
My dad will be taken off all machines on Friday morning. My mom would really just like to take him home and those are his wishes as well. All doctors, nurses, respiratory staff and everyone feel he won't make it through the day. For those of you that know my dad he's a fighter and I like to think positive if only so that he may fall to rest in the comforts of his own home. The strange thing is that today he looks more handsome and better than he has in such a long, long time.
My mom and I went to the funeral home yesterday morning and made all of the arrangements. It was tough when we actually had to pick out a casket. I want my mom to be able to mourn without anything in the way. I believe while this was probably one of the toughest things she has ever had to do, she feels a little peace with having it done.
We've been sorting through pictures for a video and it has been amazing. We've all laughed and cried so many times as we sifted through the memories out loud. So many... I know I'm extremely thankful for the time we had to create them.
We had a busy, difficult day yesterday. Meetings with Hospice, doctors and social workers kept emotions high and flying in so many directions.
My family and I were presented with three options for my dad. First we were told he cannot survive without being on life support. He will never come off of it. My dad expressed his desires some time ago and living on a machine is not what he wants.
Option one is sending him to a nursing home to live out his life on a ventilator. Stuck in a bed, staring at a wall, away from home with strangers was ruled out.
Option two is sending him home on a ventilator. In order for this to happen at least 4 family members have to be trained and certified to take care of him. The electric company has to inspect the electric to make sure it is completely up to code. A generator has to be purchased. 24 hour care is required. All again for him to be stuck in a bed, staring in space, unable to talk or do anything.
Neither option one or two is really an option.
Option three is take him off the ventilator, get him home to the comforts of his own surroundings with the assistance of Hospice.
After long discussions and really just taking into fact what dad wants, we decided to take him home off the ventilator. His lung doctor says that they will have to keep him in the hospital for a few more days and make sure that he has not caught another case of pneumonia and then the ventilator will be turned off.
I know in my heart that dad wants to just be home. He has expressed so much lately how worn out and tired he is. His body is far too weak and with only 1/8 of one lung, he simply cannot keep up with his breathing to keep the carbon dioxide down and maintain enough oxygen.
The downside to this decision is that he simply may not survive the ambulance ride home. If he does, he may live an hour or a day. I really hope that he makes it home to the comfort of his chair. Other than this hospital stay, he has not had pain. This time around his back and hips have been hurting from being in bed and his neck is swollen and sore. All of his doctors feel fairly certain that he won't have any pain and believe he'll probably just fall asleep.
This morning he is getting a doppler test to check for blood clots in his arm. It is terribly swollen and seeping. He is being fed a steady stream of medicine to keep him comfortable. We are all thankful for this.
Four years ago when my mom found him unconscious on father's day we all thought we were going to lose him then. He has been in and out of the hospital since. He is definitely a fighter. It's sad to see him like this. It hurts and leaves a knot in my throat.
Love is just doing what is best for the one you love and taking out all selfish needs. My dad is a totally rocking, awesome dad and is very much loved.
My mom and I went to the funeral home yesterday morning and made all of the arrangements. It was tough when we actually had to pick out a casket. I want my mom to be able to mourn without anything in the way. I believe while this was probably one of the toughest things she has ever had to do, she feels a little peace with having it done.
We've been sorting through pictures for a video and it has been amazing. We've all laughed and cried so many times as we sifted through the memories out loud. So many... I know I'm extremely thankful for the time we had to create them.
We had a busy, difficult day yesterday. Meetings with Hospice, doctors and social workers kept emotions high and flying in so many directions.
My family and I were presented with three options for my dad. First we were told he cannot survive without being on life support. He will never come off of it. My dad expressed his desires some time ago and living on a machine is not what he wants.
Option one is sending him to a nursing home to live out his life on a ventilator. Stuck in a bed, staring at a wall, away from home with strangers was ruled out.
Option two is sending him home on a ventilator. In order for this to happen at least 4 family members have to be trained and certified to take care of him. The electric company has to inspect the electric to make sure it is completely up to code. A generator has to be purchased. 24 hour care is required. All again for him to be stuck in a bed, staring in space, unable to talk or do anything.
Neither option one or two is really an option.
Option three is take him off the ventilator, get him home to the comforts of his own surroundings with the assistance of Hospice.
After long discussions and really just taking into fact what dad wants, we decided to take him home off the ventilator. His lung doctor says that they will have to keep him in the hospital for a few more days and make sure that he has not caught another case of pneumonia and then the ventilator will be turned off.
I know in my heart that dad wants to just be home. He has expressed so much lately how worn out and tired he is. His body is far too weak and with only 1/8 of one lung, he simply cannot keep up with his breathing to keep the carbon dioxide down and maintain enough oxygen.
The downside to this decision is that he simply may not survive the ambulance ride home. If he does, he may live an hour or a day. I really hope that he makes it home to the comfort of his chair. Other than this hospital stay, he has not had pain. This time around his back and hips have been hurting from being in bed and his neck is swollen and sore. All of his doctors feel fairly certain that he won't have any pain and believe he'll probably just fall asleep.
This morning he is getting a doppler test to check for blood clots in his arm. It is terribly swollen and seeping. He is being fed a steady stream of medicine to keep him comfortable. We are all thankful for this.
Four years ago when my mom found him unconscious on father's day we all thought we were going to lose him then. He has been in and out of the hospital since. He is definitely a fighter. It's sad to see him like this. It hurts and leaves a knot in my throat.
Love is just doing what is best for the one you love and taking out all selfish needs. My dad is a totally rocking, awesome dad and is very much loved.
More on Dad
ad had to return to the hospital today. This morning found him seriously dazed and confused, unable to talk, walk, take medicine, eat, drink or do anything except fight to breathe and shake.
The ambulance came, checked his vitals and took him. Apparently on the way they had to give him more oxygen and once at the ER his oxygen had to be tripled to keep him breathing. So many tests and so much blood work. He now has pneumonia and for him this is a serious illness.
He had a difficult time breathing for a while. I could see his entire body jerking in order to do so. He is finally out of ER and in a room. He personally has no idea, but it is more convenient and restful for my mom. He is not doing well. He is still so unresponsive. They just ordered more tests.
Despite his weakness, his strength amazes me.
The ambulance came, checked his vitals and took him. Apparently on the way they had to give him more oxygen and once at the ER his oxygen had to be tripled to keep him breathing. So many tests and so much blood work. He now has pneumonia and for him this is a serious illness.
He had a difficult time breathing for a while. I could see his entire body jerking in order to do so. He is finally out of ER and in a room. He personally has no idea, but it is more convenient and restful for my mom. He is not doing well. He is still so unresponsive. They just ordered more tests.
Despite his weakness, his strength amazes me.
Dad Update
After my last entry dad went to the hospital. He really didn't want to go but was in pain and couldn't move. He is back home tonight and for the first time really since he became sick, he is in pain. His body hurts and he can't walk. Nothing much can be done other than pain medicine. He's certainly glad to be home. I hope the medicine helps him. Mom has a difficult time. She can't move him by herself and we're all trying to help when and where we can. She's rather stubborn and likes to do it all herself, but I believe she is starting to realize assistance might be needed at times.
So like always, all I can say is that he is still with us and I am appreciating every moment.
So like always, all I can say is that he is still with us and I am appreciating every moment.
My Dad
Most of you that know me know that my dad is ill. He now refuses to go to the hospital. He says he is tired and would just rather stay home. At this point, I can't say that I blame him. Fortunately he is not in pain. He is down to 1/8 of a lung now and is extremely worn out. He feels like he isn't a man and is useless. Again, I can see his thinking on this. Though it is far from true. He has done his fair share of taking care of his family and being there in so many ways.
Lately he has been really saying silly things. A few days ago he advised us all that he would be making a list of rules that we have to go by. He rambled a bit about curfews and how to do this, that and the other. I think he thinks he is planning and it is his way of taking care of us even when he is gone. Of course, we go along with what he says mostly.
Typically me or one of my siblings sit with him while my mom gets out of the house. He told my mom just last night that he supposes she can go to bingo, but that us kids just don't know how to tend to him. And afterwards when she arrived home, he tells her that we didn't check on him at all. He realizes that he is lying. This is his good natured way of letting her know that he doesn't like her to leave, understands that she needs it at times, and that he is still the man of the house by "letting" her go.
My parents have their 49th wedding anniversary this Sunday. For years we have thought of having a huge 50th wedding anniversary party for them. I really am not sure he'll make it. According to his doctor he will not. Maybe we should have the party now instead of waiting. 49 years of marriage... that's so awesome. To be with the same person for that long, it's getting more and more rare. While I'm okay with relationships being shorter term, I find a wonderful beauty in such love and devotion.
He is losing his voice. It hurts for him to talk. He is losing a couple pounds a week. Those close to me know that he has been battling for a few years. He has been nicknamed the alien because he should have passed many times already and somehow pulled through.
So, I do realize my time with my dad is limited. I appreciate the rare funny comments and good days. While no one is perfect, I really am blessed to have such a good, decent, caring and wonderful dad.
Lately he has been really saying silly things. A few days ago he advised us all that he would be making a list of rules that we have to go by. He rambled a bit about curfews and how to do this, that and the other. I think he thinks he is planning and it is his way of taking care of us even when he is gone. Of course, we go along with what he says mostly.
Typically me or one of my siblings sit with him while my mom gets out of the house. He told my mom just last night that he supposes she can go to bingo, but that us kids just don't know how to tend to him. And afterwards when she arrived home, he tells her that we didn't check on him at all. He realizes that he is lying. This is his good natured way of letting her know that he doesn't like her to leave, understands that she needs it at times, and that he is still the man of the house by "letting" her go.
My parents have their 49th wedding anniversary this Sunday. For years we have thought of having a huge 50th wedding anniversary party for them. I really am not sure he'll make it. According to his doctor he will not. Maybe we should have the party now instead of waiting. 49 years of marriage... that's so awesome. To be with the same person for that long, it's getting more and more rare. While I'm okay with relationships being shorter term, I find a wonderful beauty in such love and devotion.
He is losing his voice. It hurts for him to talk. He is losing a couple pounds a week. Those close to me know that he has been battling for a few years. He has been nicknamed the alien because he should have passed many times already and somehow pulled through.
So, I do realize my time with my dad is limited. I appreciate the rare funny comments and good days. While no one is perfect, I really am blessed to have such a good, decent, caring and wonderful dad.
A little sex story
He threw me on the bed and thrust himself against me so hard that I knew my pussy would be bruised and sore the next day. His kisses were savage and demanding. His tongue invaded my warm mouth with such an intense mission that I lost my breath for a brief moment. My hands couldn't seem to find the right spot to settle on his body and I kept moving them around, pushing and grabbing all at the same time.
He took his time teasing me. His cock was hard against my cunt and I could feel my panties becoming soaked with each grinding motion. His lips found a path to my neck and his teeth sank into my soft flesh causing my body to buck upwards. I cried out as he went deeper leaving his mark on my tender skin and I tilted my head, offering him all of my exposed neck.
He pulled himself up off of me in a swift motion. His eyes bore into me. His words set me on fire, "get those clothes off, slut." Instantly I was up and tearing at my clothes, watching him watch me and blushing. Fumbling with the buttons on my pants, stumbling as I pushed them down and stepped out of them clumsily. As I stood there before him, my brown hair disheveled, my green eyes blazing with desire and my flesh quivering for his touch, I quickly took my black bra off. I reached for my panties, my eyes never leaving his, and before I could get them down, he pressed me against his closet door and ripped them off. His fingers took hold of the thin lace and tore them with ease from my ass.
My arms were quickly pinned above my head and once again I felt his cock pressing against me, only this time it was my ass that took the blunt of his hardness. I squirmed and wiggled, pressed myself back against him as hard as I could. I was hungry for all of him and it was difficult to just be the innocent girl when I craved his cock so badly.
Stepping back from me, he told me firmly not to move. I felt the air replace him and I shivered against the coolness of it. I listened to him move around. I wondered what he was doing. I silently willed him to come back to me, touch me in some manner or fashion. Taking deep breaths, they became exhaled sighs.
I heard him enter the room and to my delight I realized he was naked as he pressed himself against me yet again. Without thinking I lowered my arm, allowing my hand to graze over his right thigh, drawing him closer in need of him. He laughed a bit to himself mostly and easily put my hand back above my head. I knew then not to move them again. He kissed my back a few times, his lips so soft and light that I giggled.
"Is something funny?", he asked. I shook my head several times.
"Good", he said as he pulled my hair and guided me to the bed. He threw me down on my belly, kicked my legs apart and smacked my ass hard. I sensed him slipping down between my legs and still was surprised when he started biting my ass. He wasn't gentle. I laughed. It never fails, when his teeth sink into my ass, I laugh. He knows this. My body was shaking from the hard laughter. He stopped and I regained my composure after a few seconds. I lifted my upper body and felt my soft brown curls tickling down my backside. No sooner than I was up he was pushing my face into the bed and two fingers into my pussy.
With my head all but buried in the blankets, breathing was a bit difficult. I loved every second of it. He knew that I was turned on. His fingers were getting soaked with my juice. He worked them in and out with such expertise I could feel the orgasm just aching to be free. He pulled his fingers out and told me to flip and I did. Really fast.
He poked his fingers in my mouth and I sucked the pussy juice from them. He moved down my body and bit me everywhere. My nipples felt his teeth engage in a true battle, one that he was going to win. He sucked them and pretended to be nice. Then he bit into my left nipple so hard that I jerked and gasped. Biting my lip, I swallowed and let the pain wash over me. He gave my right nipple just as much attention.
Then he found my thighs. First one then the other, back and forth. His teeth dug deep and hard into my flesh, biting and sucking at the same time. It hurt, but I loved every second of it. It was delicious to be in that wonderful place. I could feel the bedsheets getting soaked and becoming a mess. He didn't relent for what seemed like an hour. He worked his teeth over my thighs. On occasion his tongue would flicker across my pussy. The entire time I cuddled a pillow and bit the corner of it.
He rose up and came over me, throwing the pillow to the side. Watching me intently he let his cock slide into the the sloppy mess of my cunt. I think we both let out low moans at the same time as his cock slid deep inside. My legs instantly went up and I grabbed my feet with my hands. He pumped fast, sliding out and then quickly back in. I whispered, I tried to talk, but all that came out was "please, please...." and he ignored me. He started moving faster and I could sense his urgency. My "please, please" came out again. He ignored me again. I started to wonder if it was my imagination and I really wasn't speaking. No, I was and my arms threw around him and this time I almost screamed it, "Please, please... pl..ease..." and his "yes" was all I needed to let go. I came all over his cock, squirting a warm mess around him and onto the sheets.
His cock slipped from me and he moved, pulling me across the bed as he stood. Standing, he kept pulling me. I knew from the way he pulled my hair and was standing that he wanted me on my knees before him. So there I went, of course with his helping hand in my hair. He roughly pushed his cock in my mouth. I gagged but refused to let it slip out for even a breath of air. I scooted closer, my hands roaming up around his thighs to his ass. I pulled him closer. I was ravenous for his cock.
My left hand wrapped around his shaft and stroked him. Saliva dripped from my mouth onto his cock and onto my thighs. I was drooling all over him. I sucked and sucked, stroking with a fast desire to taste his sperm. He eased up on my hair and I could hear the change in his breathing. I stroked his balls, tasted them in my mouth and licked around his shaft. My tongue swirled around the head of his beautiful cock and I sucked. I sucked him like the best cocksucker in town. My hand moved up and down his cock with an undeniable desire to have him cum. I wanted his orgasm in my mouth.
He gripped my hair firmly and thrust his hips. I kept on and I heard his low grunts. My thighs were soaked with my spit and the warm spot between my legs left a wet puddle on his carpet. Just then in a quick movement he pressed my head firmly into his crotch, thrust his cock down my throat and gave me the food I hungered for. He shot his load and I gobbled it all.
I kissed his cock, stroked it easily and sucked on the head. After a few times he gave me a little shove and toppled me over. I laughed. He moved to the bed and stretched out. I crawled up beside him and as I slowly slid my hand over his chest, I asked, "Can we do it again, please??"
He took his time teasing me. His cock was hard against my cunt and I could feel my panties becoming soaked with each grinding motion. His lips found a path to my neck and his teeth sank into my soft flesh causing my body to buck upwards. I cried out as he went deeper leaving his mark on my tender skin and I tilted my head, offering him all of my exposed neck.
He pulled himself up off of me in a swift motion. His eyes bore into me. His words set me on fire, "get those clothes off, slut." Instantly I was up and tearing at my clothes, watching him watch me and blushing. Fumbling with the buttons on my pants, stumbling as I pushed them down and stepped out of them clumsily. As I stood there before him, my brown hair disheveled, my green eyes blazing with desire and my flesh quivering for his touch, I quickly took my black bra off. I reached for my panties, my eyes never leaving his, and before I could get them down, he pressed me against his closet door and ripped them off. His fingers took hold of the thin lace and tore them with ease from my ass.
My arms were quickly pinned above my head and once again I felt his cock pressing against me, only this time it was my ass that took the blunt of his hardness. I squirmed and wiggled, pressed myself back against him as hard as I could. I was hungry for all of him and it was difficult to just be the innocent girl when I craved his cock so badly.
Stepping back from me, he told me firmly not to move. I felt the air replace him and I shivered against the coolness of it. I listened to him move around. I wondered what he was doing. I silently willed him to come back to me, touch me in some manner or fashion. Taking deep breaths, they became exhaled sighs.
I heard him enter the room and to my delight I realized he was naked as he pressed himself against me yet again. Without thinking I lowered my arm, allowing my hand to graze over his right thigh, drawing him closer in need of him. He laughed a bit to himself mostly and easily put my hand back above my head. I knew then not to move them again. He kissed my back a few times, his lips so soft and light that I giggled.
"Is something funny?", he asked. I shook my head several times.
"Good", he said as he pulled my hair and guided me to the bed. He threw me down on my belly, kicked my legs apart and smacked my ass hard. I sensed him slipping down between my legs and still was surprised when he started biting my ass. He wasn't gentle. I laughed. It never fails, when his teeth sink into my ass, I laugh. He knows this. My body was shaking from the hard laughter. He stopped and I regained my composure after a few seconds. I lifted my upper body and felt my soft brown curls tickling down my backside. No sooner than I was up he was pushing my face into the bed and two fingers into my pussy.
With my head all but buried in the blankets, breathing was a bit difficult. I loved every second of it. He knew that I was turned on. His fingers were getting soaked with my juice. He worked them in and out with such expertise I could feel the orgasm just aching to be free. He pulled his fingers out and told me to flip and I did. Really fast.
He poked his fingers in my mouth and I sucked the pussy juice from them. He moved down my body and bit me everywhere. My nipples felt his teeth engage in a true battle, one that he was going to win. He sucked them and pretended to be nice. Then he bit into my left nipple so hard that I jerked and gasped. Biting my lip, I swallowed and let the pain wash over me. He gave my right nipple just as much attention.
Then he found my thighs. First one then the other, back and forth. His teeth dug deep and hard into my flesh, biting and sucking at the same time. It hurt, but I loved every second of it. It was delicious to be in that wonderful place. I could feel the bedsheets getting soaked and becoming a mess. He didn't relent for what seemed like an hour. He worked his teeth over my thighs. On occasion his tongue would flicker across my pussy. The entire time I cuddled a pillow and bit the corner of it.
He rose up and came over me, throwing the pillow to the side. Watching me intently he let his cock slide into the the sloppy mess of my cunt. I think we both let out low moans at the same time as his cock slid deep inside. My legs instantly went up and I grabbed my feet with my hands. He pumped fast, sliding out and then quickly back in. I whispered, I tried to talk, but all that came out was "please, please...." and he ignored me. He started moving faster and I could sense his urgency. My "please, please" came out again. He ignored me again. I started to wonder if it was my imagination and I really wasn't speaking. No, I was and my arms threw around him and this time I almost screamed it, "Please, please... pl..ease..." and his "yes" was all I needed to let go. I came all over his cock, squirting a warm mess around him and onto the sheets.
His cock slipped from me and he moved, pulling me across the bed as he stood. Standing, he kept pulling me. I knew from the way he pulled my hair and was standing that he wanted me on my knees before him. So there I went, of course with his helping hand in my hair. He roughly pushed his cock in my mouth. I gagged but refused to let it slip out for even a breath of air. I scooted closer, my hands roaming up around his thighs to his ass. I pulled him closer. I was ravenous for his cock.
My left hand wrapped around his shaft and stroked him. Saliva dripped from my mouth onto his cock and onto my thighs. I was drooling all over him. I sucked and sucked, stroking with a fast desire to taste his sperm. He eased up on my hair and I could hear the change in his breathing. I stroked his balls, tasted them in my mouth and licked around his shaft. My tongue swirled around the head of his beautiful cock and I sucked. I sucked him like the best cocksucker in town. My hand moved up and down his cock with an undeniable desire to have him cum. I wanted his orgasm in my mouth.
He gripped my hair firmly and thrust his hips. I kept on and I heard his low grunts. My thighs were soaked with my spit and the warm spot between my legs left a wet puddle on his carpet. Just then in a quick movement he pressed my head firmly into his crotch, thrust his cock down my throat and gave me the food I hungered for. He shot his load and I gobbled it all.
I kissed his cock, stroked it easily and sucked on the head. After a few times he gave me a little shove and toppled me over. I laughed. He moved to the bed and stretched out. I crawled up beside him and as I slowly slid my hand over his chest, I asked, "Can we do it again, please??"
Danger, Danger!
I bet many of you have pondered how you could fall into a bath tub. It's a legitimate question that deserves an answer.
Cleaning. I'm telling you and insisting it can be dangerous to your health. I like cleaning, but I sometimes think everyone should have a maid. Not that the maid deserves to be put in a dangerous position either, mind you. It's just well, you get the idea.
This morning started off like any other. I woke up on the right side of the bed and decided to do some cleaning. I am talking serious, put on the clothes you don't mind ruining cleaning.
I started the laundry and then proceeded to vacuum the upstairs bedrooms. Somehow I always forget that the rooms have slanted ceilings so as I bent over to plug in the vacuum I came up and immediately hit my head. Keep in mind I have done this consistently on a regular basis. I figured I'd have learned by now, but I haven't obviously. I hit it so hard that I got dizzy for a brief moment and even used the F word. I did get over it and finished the vacuuming and making of the bed.
I then made my way down to the bath. Spraying the tub, I set about cleaning the rest of it before scrubbing the tub itself. This is where it all started. Or perhaps it really started back upstairs when I hit my head. Anyway, I'm bending over the tub, and it is a pretty big one, trying to reach the far side. I have a little hot water running and the fumes are starting to make me gag. My hair is all in my face and I'm pouting my lips and puffing hot air to get it out of my eyes when I fall head first into the tub. Umm, I said the F word again and I swear I hit the same spot on my head.
You can say you read it here first. I just stayed in the tub while a few tears fell and then I started laughing. I mean, despite the initial pain, it was a funny picture. Right then and there I decided it was time for a break. I crawled out of that tub, went straight to the kitchen and poured myself a tall glass of coca-cola and here I sit. I hope everyone appreciates the sharing that I do. I let go of all my pride to share these wonderful moments.
The moral of this story? Everyone, or at least me, should live on some isolated beach with an outdoor shower that requires little to no cleaning. And if this isn't possible, put your hair in a pony before cleaning and invest in a long handled brush.
Now I have to go tackle the kitchen. Please keep me in your prayers or come help me. They say there is safety in numbers.
Cleaning. I'm telling you and insisting it can be dangerous to your health. I like cleaning, but I sometimes think everyone should have a maid. Not that the maid deserves to be put in a dangerous position either, mind you. It's just well, you get the idea.
This morning started off like any other. I woke up on the right side of the bed and decided to do some cleaning. I am talking serious, put on the clothes you don't mind ruining cleaning.
I started the laundry and then proceeded to vacuum the upstairs bedrooms. Somehow I always forget that the rooms have slanted ceilings so as I bent over to plug in the vacuum I came up and immediately hit my head. Keep in mind I have done this consistently on a regular basis. I figured I'd have learned by now, but I haven't obviously. I hit it so hard that I got dizzy for a brief moment and even used the F word. I did get over it and finished the vacuuming and making of the bed.
I then made my way down to the bath. Spraying the tub, I set about cleaning the rest of it before scrubbing the tub itself. This is where it all started. Or perhaps it really started back upstairs when I hit my head. Anyway, I'm bending over the tub, and it is a pretty big one, trying to reach the far side. I have a little hot water running and the fumes are starting to make me gag. My hair is all in my face and I'm pouting my lips and puffing hot air to get it out of my eyes when I fall head first into the tub. Umm, I said the F word again and I swear I hit the same spot on my head.
You can say you read it here first. I just stayed in the tub while a few tears fell and then I started laughing. I mean, despite the initial pain, it was a funny picture. Right then and there I decided it was time for a break. I crawled out of that tub, went straight to the kitchen and poured myself a tall glass of coca-cola and here I sit. I hope everyone appreciates the sharing that I do. I let go of all my pride to share these wonderful moments.
The moral of this story? Everyone, or at least me, should live on some isolated beach with an outdoor shower that requires little to no cleaning. And if this isn't possible, put your hair in a pony before cleaning and invest in a long handled brush.
Now I have to go tackle the kitchen. Please keep me in your prayers or come help me. They say there is safety in numbers.
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